lyin' librul

I would have continued walking by the Greenpeace dude outside whole foods but his hair was a force to be reckoned with. All Greenpeace dudes have great hair—that's how they get signups from women (so you know)

"Hi ma'am ... we—"

"Yes? I (can't take anymoreleavemealone please) don't have any cash on me, sorry"

"Oh no we doneirjweiwer aspodi wpoie nrwjer blah blah asdjfrew beeraposdd signup"

"Wow. Your hair..."

"signup asljjblah asdjf sdd fskj we machalambachimba it easy"

"Is your hair real?"

"Yes it's real - jfk aks wjker Greenpeace skaskfds kldlakd green trees lskdfkd blagsmoke mmd out hugging"

"Wow. That hair"

"Blad huhjiji askerididi signup askjfkj oasdj war asjj end ljasjd, no money needed"

"I already did this at Trader Joes; they got me there. The guy had good hair"

"Oh okbutt hjkj wlkhjipahass aspijuj canibisulu ek sdkff they're there too? skdj woiehhd Obama"

"So, that's some hair. Wow. How much product do you have to use to get it to do that?"

"None! it's like that on its own. I just wake up and it's like thatlieblahj aslkjhdf oijlk asksk" (then, honest to God almighty above, he did one of those farrah fawcett flip things. My eyes bugged. He should have stopped right there)

"Hunh. Well, great hair. That's the only reason I put up with this cr— "

"Haha right onbama dkha ekka d; have a good dayyyddj likedudenma'am"

He lied.

No one's hair does what his was doing without a lot of product.

My hair happened to be behind my head and shoved up into a beanie, so he didn't see it, but I suspect he knew I knew he was flat out lying about his hair when I slipped my beanie off and pretended to air my hair out.

A republican in the same situation would have told the truth, but then bragged at length about the number of different products it takes to acheive such a volume of hair.

Mar 3, 09