lyin' librul

I would have continued walking by the Greenpeace dude outside whole foods but his hair was a force to be reckoned with. All Greenpeace dudes have great hair—that's how they get signups from women (so you know)

"Hi ma'am ... we—"

"Yes? I (can't take anymoreleavemealone please) don't have any cash on me, sorry"

"Oh no we doneirjweiwer aspodi wpoie nrwjer blah blah asdjfrew beeraposdd signup"

"Wow. Your hair..."

"signup asljjblah asdjf sdd fskj we machalambachimba it easy"

"Is your hair real?"

"Yes it's real - jfk aks wjker Greenpeace skaskfds kldlakd green trees lskdfkd blagsmoke mmd out hugging"

"Wow. That hair"

"Blad huhjiji askerididi signup askjfkj oasdj war asjj end ljasjd, no money needed"

"I already did this at Trader Joes; they got me there. The guy had good hair"

"Oh okbutt hjkj wlkhjipahass aspijuj canibisulu ek sdkff they're there too? skdj woiehhd Obama"

"So, that's some hair. Wow. How much product do you have to use to get it to do that?"

"None! it's like that on its own. I just wake up and it's like thatlieblahj aslkjhdf oijlk asksk" (then, honest to God almighty above, he did one of those farrah fawcett flip things. My eyes bugged. He should have stopped right there)

"Hunh. Well, great hair. That's the only reason I put up with this cr— "

"Haha right onbama dkha ekka d; have a good dayyyddj likedudenma'am"

He lied.

No one's hair does what his was doing without a lot of product.

My hair happened to be behind my head and shoved up into a beanie, so he didn't see it, but I suspect he knew I knew he was flat out lying about his hair when I slipped my beanie off and pretended to air my hair out.

A republican in the same situation would have told the truth, but then bragged at length about the number of different products it takes to acheive such a volume of hair.

Mar 3, 09

i adopted an 8 year old cat, and god

...how i am starting to adore him. (update: No, I do adore him; in fact I love him! love love love, soft as an easy chair...)

His AVID chip says "Dixie" but I call him Gabriel Boojal Scraggsworth, or Gabie Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Sweet Pretty Baby Baby for short. He is worth a blog of his own, but for now I just want to make sure his every day is filled with warmth.

He is growing on me like lush, green ivy.

When he turns his head a certain way his lines form distinct memories of Maui. They resemble each other in ways I wouldn't have welcomed consciously. I'm surprised by this wonderful old cat. I'm smiling for the first time in 2 years.

Gabie Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby.

3 (not very good) photos of my devastatingly pretty boy - he looks like a wildcat!

march 2, 2009