like mother, like daughter
posted july 31 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
gabriel boojal scraggsworth
Gabe's face
Gabe's food in Maui's Bowl
Gabe doing nothing, very well
Gabe's ear Hair
Gabe, edible
july 27 2008
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
nothing like ambien part 1.
It hits me like heroin. True, I wouldn't know what heroin hits like but when Ambien hits me hard I feel like a junkie looks in a polished Hollywood epic - and they look just like the curl on tip of my smile.
Ambien aficionados, those who swear by the cathartic powers of the drug will report bizarre side effects ranging from an overwhelming craving for fatty foods, a sudden desire to reconnect to lost loved ones, or telepathically conversing with people who aren't in the same room, to finding that a zero gravity chair is no longer to be just a sanctuary for fatigued backs and tired asses in need - but a living breathing bellows, to feeling invincible, overly confident and capable of acheiving elusive goals ... swimming, using a body only conditioned well enough to walk the distance of the wading area to attempt swimming the 100 meter butterfly, carpe diem, being born again, I'm a child, birthed by a mind meld between a warm, cobalt sky in tandem with a back flip.
Chairs breathe. Computers breathe. A hanging towel in a bathroom inhales once slowly. Then just as slowly it softly, coyly, exhales a dopamine rush command. The first time my living room chair breathed was one of those breathtaking split seconds caught between fear and shock and holy divination. Like fatty food amplifies the effect of this drug, certain bands and sounds also intensify and prolong the high. Ambien tripping isn't for everyone. Like any drug, it messes with your mind to the degree of mental weight carried at the time you drop. I don't recommend Ambien tripping for those just off a bad relationship or anyone with a bad FICO score - unless you're a professional self loather and, for personal or religious reasons, absolutely insist on obsessing over your credit rating. I speak from personal experience.
Ambien is a muscle relaxer, too. It's a powerful multi-use drug. In my opinion it shouldn't be given out freely. Nevertheless KAISER is a terrific organization if you're looking for physicians who freely (and in my opinion irresponsibly) dole out your poison. If you're the type who doesn't torment over morals or ethics then for you there are a few key words, subtle suggestions, and stratagem to obtain relief: Ambien, Soma, Valium, to name The Three. For powdered Dilaudid you may need to arrange for badly broken leg.
"I've been feeling so anxious lately, for weeks. I'm trying some deep breathing but I'm still having a very hard time getting to bed. My neighbors do things above me with power tools. I think they're adding a nursery - and they're not married either!"
Translated: I'm writing a blog post but I feel bone dry. I need a hit.
"We just broke up. She took the cat ... I really loved that cat, too. I want to adopt my own but the grief and sadness seem insurmountable. Is having a hard time breathing over a period of a week or so considered anxiety?"
Translated: Xanax is good stuff. Would you be so kind?
"I used to swim competitively. Ok, like 15 years ago. I swam the 100 butterfly this morning at 3am, hopped up on Ambien. It's the only thing that takes the edge off the shoulder injuries. Anyway I sprained a few mucles around the thoracic, atlas, and a few muscles elsewhere. Never again. I spent 3 hours in the ER and they gave me this bland flexiril stuff"
Translated: I'm in a lot of pain. I understand Soma is great for muscle spasms - and it's one of the few drugs of its kind that do not make you feel like a drooling mental patient. 3 days of this stuff and I'm due for something a bit less depressing. I don't want to sleep 20 hours at a time. Soma. Can I try that? that Flexiril stuff put me in a bad space. Look at my back? see how the right scapula is so obviously, clearly sitting higher than the left, still? I'm having a spasm.
"Is it normal to feel like you're suffocating whenever you're done grocery shopping? - really, is that normal? It starts off quietly enough and then BAM it's as though black, hard talons are coming at my throat...like in that movie Aliens. I was fine until those two guys in black masks started appearing on the hood of my car, holding an Amway name badge with my name printed on the thing. Of course I'm just teasing about the hoods and talons. But if you were an artist then what I just said wouldn't seem so alarming, in context of course-it's about context-you know, the Alien stuff. Context; mine, not yours. As an academic, you might just say to your colleagues: 'I've been experiencing some rather interesting somatic episodes; perhaps this evening we can convene at Starbucks to discuss this in a more intimate setting'. We, you know artists, we just phrase things in a more unique context ..."
Translated: I'm not crazy. I'm a shrewd functional junkie. I only need a sample, really. Thank you. Yes, of course doctor, I will certainly call you if any of this persists. Always do.
I think I'm getting closer to spilling my blood all over the internet, where it belongs, safely away from the few people whose feelings might be wronged. When it happens, I honestly don't give a fuck if you or mother Mary find it offensive.
posted july 22 2am, i'm almost sure of it
Ambien aficionados, those who swear by the cathartic powers of the drug will report bizarre side effects ranging from an overwhelming craving for fatty foods, a sudden desire to reconnect to lost loved ones, or telepathically conversing with people who aren't in the same room, to finding that a zero gravity chair is no longer to be just a sanctuary for fatigued backs and tired asses in need - but a living breathing bellows, to feeling invincible, overly confident and capable of acheiving elusive goals ... swimming, using a body only conditioned well enough to walk the distance of the wading area to attempt swimming the 100 meter butterfly, carpe diem, being born again, I'm a child, birthed by a mind meld between a warm, cobalt sky in tandem with a back flip.
Chairs breathe. Computers breathe. A hanging towel in a bathroom inhales once slowly. Then just as slowly it softly, coyly, exhales a dopamine rush command. The first time my living room chair breathed was one of those breathtaking split seconds caught between fear and shock and holy divination. Like fatty food amplifies the effect of this drug, certain bands and sounds also intensify and prolong the high. Ambien tripping isn't for everyone. Like any drug, it messes with your mind to the degree of mental weight carried at the time you drop. I don't recommend Ambien tripping for those just off a bad relationship or anyone with a bad FICO score - unless you're a professional self loather and, for personal or religious reasons, absolutely insist on obsessing over your credit rating. I speak from personal experience.
Ambien is a muscle relaxer, too. It's a powerful multi-use drug. In my opinion it shouldn't be given out freely. Nevertheless KAISER is a terrific organization if you're looking for physicians who freely (and in my opinion irresponsibly) dole out your poison. If you're the type who doesn't torment over morals or ethics then for you there are a few key words, subtle suggestions, and stratagem to obtain relief: Ambien, Soma, Valium, to name The Three. For powdered Dilaudid you may need to arrange for badly broken leg.
"I've been feeling so anxious lately, for weeks. I'm trying some deep breathing but I'm still having a very hard time getting to bed. My neighbors do things above me with power tools. I think they're adding a nursery - and they're not married either!"
Translated: I'm writing a blog post but I feel bone dry. I need a hit.
"We just broke up. She took the cat ... I really loved that cat, too. I want to adopt my own but the grief and sadness seem insurmountable. Is having a hard time breathing over a period of a week or so considered anxiety?"
Translated: Xanax is good stuff. Would you be so kind?
"I used to swim competitively. Ok, like 15 years ago. I swam the 100 butterfly this morning at 3am, hopped up on Ambien. It's the only thing that takes the edge off the shoulder injuries. Anyway I sprained a few mucles around the thoracic, atlas, and a few muscles elsewhere. Never again. I spent 3 hours in the ER and they gave me this bland flexiril stuff"
Translated: I'm in a lot of pain. I understand Soma is great for muscle spasms - and it's one of the few drugs of its kind that do not make you feel like a drooling mental patient. 3 days of this stuff and I'm due for something a bit less depressing. I don't want to sleep 20 hours at a time. Soma. Can I try that? that Flexiril stuff put me in a bad space. Look at my back? see how the right scapula is so obviously, clearly sitting higher than the left, still? I'm having a spasm.
"Is it normal to feel like you're suffocating whenever you're done grocery shopping? - really, is that normal? It starts off quietly enough and then BAM it's as though black, hard talons are coming at my throat...like in that movie Aliens. I was fine until those two guys in black masks started appearing on the hood of my car, holding an Amway name badge with my name printed on the thing. Of course I'm just teasing about the hoods and talons. But if you were an artist then what I just said wouldn't seem so alarming, in context of course-it's about context-you know, the Alien stuff. Context; mine, not yours. As an academic, you might just say to your colleagues: 'I've been experiencing some rather interesting somatic episodes; perhaps this evening we can convene at Starbucks to discuss this in a more intimate setting'. We, you know artists, we just phrase things in a more unique context ..."
Translated: I'm not crazy. I'm a shrewd functional junkie. I only need a sample, really. Thank you. Yes, of course doctor, I will certainly call you if any of this persists. Always do.
I think I'm getting closer to spilling my blood all over the internet, where it belongs, safely away from the few people whose feelings might be wronged. When it happens, I honestly don't give a fuck if you or mother Mary find it offensive.
posted july 22 2am, i'm almost sure of it
Friday, May 15, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
mother
"Hi, I love you. Happy about to be mother's day. Do you know how much I love you?"
"Oh, that's nice. Honey ... I'm having another ant invasion, can I call you back?"
"...yeah. ok. how many invasions does this make this week?"
"They dead again, mom?"
"Yes, I hoovered them but I think I see one alive, can I call you back?"
"um yeah (guess I have no choice)"
"I love you mom, have I told you that? really, I just want you know to how much you mean to me; I love you so much that sometimes I cry"
"Oh dear, that's nice. I appreciate it"
"Mom, can you just once, ever, just let me love you?"
"I don't know why you'd love me so much."
"But -"
"I don't deserve all this love. I was a bad mom."
"Ok. Let's try this: yeah, you were a really shitty mom, then my life turned into an expression of your shit, blah blah blah. Now, get over it already, I did. Ok?"
"Ok, I'll consider that, and I love you too, dear."
may 8, probably. 2009
"Oh, that's nice. Honey ... I'm having another ant invasion, can I call you back?"
"...yeah. ok. how many invasions does this make this week?"
"They dead again, mom?"
"Yes, I hoovered them but I think I see one alive, can I call you back?"
"um yeah (guess I have no choice)"
"I love you mom, have I told you that? really, I just want you know to how much you mean to me; I love you so much that sometimes I cry"
"Oh dear, that's nice. I appreciate it"
"Mom, can you just once, ever, just let me love you?"
"I don't know why you'd love me so much."
"But -"
"I don't deserve all this love. I was a bad mom."
"Ok. Let's try this: yeah, you were a really shitty mom, then my life turned into an expression of your shit, blah blah blah. Now, get over it already, I did. Ok?"
"Ok, I'll consider that, and I love you too, dear."
may 8, probably. 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
lyin' librul
I would have continued walking by the Greenpeace dude outside whole foods but his hair was a force to be reckoned with. All Greenpeace dudes have great hair—that's how they get signups from women (so you know)
"Hi ma'am ... we—"
"Yes? I (can't take anymoreleavemealone please) don't have any cash on me, sorry"
"Oh no we doneirjweiwer aspodi wpoie nrwjer blah blah asdjfrew beeraposdd signup"
"Wow. Your hair..."
"signup asljjblah asdjf sdd fskj we machalambachimba it easy"
"Is your hair real?"
"Yes it's real - jfk aks wjker Greenpeace skaskfds kldlakd green trees lskdfkd blagsmoke mmd out hugging"
"Wow. That hair"
"Blad huhjiji askerididi signup askjfkj oasdj war asjj end ljasjd, no money needed"
"I already did this at Trader Joes; they got me there. The guy had good hair"
"Oh okbutt hjkj wlkhjipahass aspijuj canibisulu ek sdkff they're there too? skdj woiehhd Obama"
"So, that's some hair. Wow. How much product do you have to use to get it to do that?"
"None! it's like that on its own. I just wake up and it's like thatlieblahj aslkjhdf oijlk asksk" (then, honest to God almighty above, he did one of those farrah fawcett flip things. My eyes bugged. He should have stopped right there)
"Hunh. Well, great hair. That's the only reason I put up with this cr— "
"Haha right onbama dkha ekka d; have a good dayyyddj likedudenma'am"
He lied.
No one's hair does what his was doing without a lot of product.
My hair happened to be behind my head and shoved up into a beanie, so he didn't see it, but I suspect he knew I knew he was flat out lying about his hair when I slipped my beanie off and pretended to air my hair out.
A republican in the same situation would have told the truth, but then bragged at length about the number of different products it takes to acheive such a volume of hair.
Mar 3, 09
"Hi ma'am ... we—"
"Yes? I (can't take anymoreleavemealone please) don't have any cash on me, sorry"
"Oh no we doneirjweiwer aspodi wpoie nrwjer blah blah asdjfrew beeraposdd signup"
"Wow. Your hair..."
"signup asljjblah asdjf sdd fskj we machalambachimba it easy"
"Is your hair real?"
"Yes it's real - jfk aks wjker Greenpeace skaskfds kldlakd green trees lskdfkd blagsmoke mmd out hugging"
"Wow. That hair"
"Blad huhjiji askerididi signup askjfkj oasdj war asjj end ljasjd, no money needed"
"I already did this at Trader Joes; they got me there. The guy had good hair"
"Oh okbutt hjkj wlkhjipahass aspijuj canibisulu ek sdkff they're there too? skdj woiehhd Obama"
"So, that's some hair. Wow. How much product do you have to use to get it to do that?"
"None! it's like that on its own. I just wake up and it's like thatlieblahj aslkjhdf oijlk asksk" (then, honest to God almighty above, he did one of those farrah fawcett flip things. My eyes bugged. He should have stopped right there)
"Hunh. Well, great hair. That's the only reason I put up with this cr— "
"Haha right onbama dkha ekka d; have a good dayyyddj likedudenma'am"
He lied.
No one's hair does what his was doing without a lot of product.
My hair happened to be behind my head and shoved up into a beanie, so he didn't see it, but I suspect he knew I knew he was flat out lying about his hair when I slipped my beanie off and pretended to air my hair out.
A republican in the same situation would have told the truth, but then bragged at length about the number of different products it takes to acheive such a volume of hair.
Mar 3, 09
Monday, March 2, 2009
i adopted an 8 year old cat, and god
...how i am starting to adore him. (update: No, I do adore him; in fact I love him! love love love, soft as an easy chair...)
His AVID chip says "Dixie" but I call him Gabriel Boojal Scraggsworth, or Gabie Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Sweet Pretty Baby Baby for short. He is worth a blog of his own, but for now I just want to make sure his every day is filled with warmth.
He is growing on me like lush, green ivy.
When he turns his head a certain way his lines form distinct memories of Maui. They resemble each other in ways I wouldn't have welcomed consciously. I'm surprised by this wonderful old cat. I'm smiling for the first time in 2 years.
Gabie Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby.
His AVID chip says "Dixie" but I call him Gabriel Boojal Scraggsworth, or Gabie Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Sweet Pretty Baby Baby for short. He is worth a blog of his own, but for now I just want to make sure his every day is filled with warmth.
He is growing on me like lush, green ivy.
When he turns his head a certain way his lines form distinct memories of Maui. They resemble each other in ways I wouldn't have welcomed consciously. I'm surprised by this wonderful old cat. I'm smiling for the first time in 2 years.
Gabie Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby.
3 (not very good) photos of my devastatingly pretty boy - he looks like a wildcat!
march 2, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
short rant about fucking
I know most people consider fucking to be wonderful- but when it's happening above my bedroom every night, sometimes 3 times a night, in a cheap bed with rusty box springs then it's not good. Plenty of banshee wailing, what sounds like a dog whining atop a spinning washing machine (visualize that one, go ahead-add the audio) and the fact that I'm already paying too much for this place, well this makes for a bad mood. Some people have no class. I hope they're using condoms. The last thing I want to hear 9 months from now is their baby crying all night. I can tell they're doing it in missionary position. Don't you think the fact I know this says something about these people's lack of discretion? not to mention lack of creativity. I wonder which of them is going to grow bored first? And...I'm curious if people who limit themselves to missionary only might be suffering from some sort of religious persecution complex?
I've seen him once. He is never going to marry her. Any man who runs up and down stairs 10 times in half an hour in leui of actually tending the BBQ is a lout.
Great, there they go again.
Mormon's live downstairs, right next to me. I'm thinking the vacant apartment above them will do nicely. I'm tired of just living in the living room.
Wow, now I hear hammers. Idiots.
feb 16, 2008
I've seen him once. He is never going to marry her. Any man who runs up and down stairs 10 times in half an hour in leui of actually tending the BBQ is a lout.
Great, there they go again.
Mormon's live downstairs, right next to me. I'm thinking the vacant apartment above them will do nicely. I'm tired of just living in the living room.
Wow, now I hear hammers. Idiots.
feb 16, 2008
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Sunday, December 14, 2008
december 15, 1996 - He lives
Hi Maui ...
I'm writing your book. I'm so sorry it's taking so long.
You know how I is.
posted december 15, 2008
I'm writing your book. I'm so sorry it's taking so long.
You know how I is.
posted december 15, 2008
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